Failure IS an Option

I had an Olympic Distance Triathlon (1.5km (0.93 mile) swim, 40km (25 mile) cycle, and a 10km (6.2 mile) run) this past weekend. 

What was supposed to be cool about this race was that it had the swim portion in the sea (which can be a fun challenge), and the bike portion on the Grand Prix F1 race track.

But sometimes things take a turn away from our expectations 🙂

Arriving at the race track, the wind was howling, and rain was smacking us in the face. The temperature was in the 50s F (14C), and I was starting to resent the cold sea swim. As I’m preparing my gear, I noticed everyone’s bikes were setup in a different spot than they were supposed to and I asked someone why that was. To my pleasure, they said the swim had been canceled, and the race would be a run-bike-run - hooray! No wet bicycling in cold weather!

The race started with 10km run, and I was on! I had my fastest 10k run to-date at around 5:05 min/km (8:14 min/mi), and was feeling good coming into the bike portion and the exciting race track ahead.

I hop on the bike and as soon as I got on the course… WOOSH! I was almost blown over! It took me only seconds to realize the fatal mistake:  my triathlon bike tires are meant to go really fast… in a straight direction. On windy days in particular, I would never use this bike, because the rim around it acts like a parachute for the wind.

However, I persisted. Around the ~3.5km race track, I held tight… very tight. On one stretch of the course where the wind was at my back for a long stretch, I was going 40 km/hr (24 mi/hr) without pedaling (!). Because the race track isn’t just a circle, but more like spaghetti in a bowl, every turn I would take it put me at a 90 degree turn into the wind, catching my parachute wheels every time and almost knocking me over (not a fun feeling when going 24 mi/hr!).

I couldn’t do anything about it so I kept going. As I approached lap 1… out of 9… I hesitated and asked: “Should I just go back and quit? This isn’t fun, and it’s getting quite dangerous.”. But, my competitor spirit resisted and I convinced myself I could manage.

To my (shocking) surprise, the wind didn’t change one bit 😀

Midway through lap 2 my hands started to cramp because I had to hold on so tight, which is, well, one of the most embarrassing muscles to admit to cramping in a triathlon since you never use them 🥲. I almost fell over a few times going too fast, and as I approached the end of lap 2, I swallowed my pride, and pulled in. What started as a swim-bike-race day, turned into a run-run day (lol).

I went on to run the 5km run portion anyways, even though I was disqualified at that point. I wasn’t having fun on the bike, I honestly don’t know if my hands would have made it, and this was a relatively small race that I wasn’t planning on getting any awards on and so the risk of injury wasn’t worth any potential payoff. 

But still… as a competitor, it really bugged me and I was really embarrassed. I ran alongside others on the 5km and kept thinking: “Ugh, they completed the 9 laps, and here I am, undeservedly running next to them.”. Maybe it was the self-deprecation that gave me another fast 5km pace of around 5:05 min/km 🙂. I learned only later that the gusts of wind for that day were 64 km/hr (40 mi/hr)!

As I was getting to the end, I found a nice runner’s high. A literal one, and a figurative one. I can’t remember the last time I quit something. I’ve always been the “more more more”, “keep going going going” attitude. I journal on this often, and I logically want to ease off the gas sometimes, but then I just keep going… and going.

This day showed me hope and progress. To slow down, and to realize that, sometimes, failure is an option.