The Curiosity Killer
For a little over two years now, I’ve had a regular struggle, common to humanity: finding one’s purpose.
That started my journey in pursuit of selling my company, only to back out and realize I had more to do at Rayobyte, which I documented in full here.
I’m writing this post as my own self-reflection in this current pursuit. Never there (to finding purpose), but always working around the edges to understand it more. I want to thank my coach, Phil Towle, for helping me see some of these ideas more clearly - sending love to you ♥️.
My Top Virtues
These are the results of my https://www.viacharacter.org/ test this year. This test was built by some of the godfathers of the Positive Psychology movement, one of my favorites being Martin Seligman. It helps you define what your core virtues are, and where you are weakest. Their book goes into scientific detail about how, and why, these virtues are important if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life.
I try to take this test once a year to see how my virtues change (or don’t change), and every year I find the same common theme: “Curiosity, Love of Learning, and Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence” are in my top 5. Every. Single. Time! The fact that I take the test years apart and I get the same results every time tells me that these are what make up my DNA.
Here’s my 2021 test:
Is Curiosity Being Killed In Today’s Society?
As Rayobyte has risen to the top as one of the major brands in our industry, my time spent has mostly been a function of scaling the company. ‘1 to N’ versus ‘0 to 1’. There is plenty to learn in such a role, however, I’ve found that I learn more being in the 0 to 1 zone. New ideas, new products, and so forth.
Only until recently have I started carving out time in my weeks to do exactly that: thinking of new product ideas (Rayobyte or not) that I could pour myself into.
What I’ve found has been a form of depression.
Every idea I think of… it’s been done.
What’s worse, with ChatGPT, I can ask it that simple question: ‘I have this idea X Y Z. Are there any tools or platforms that do this already?’ - and within a few seconds I have a list 10 companies who have done my idea already.
Nine years ago, things weren’t quite the same. Google Search was significantly less evolved than it is today, and there was no AI. To find the answer to such a question could take days of research. In those moments of research - checking out competitor tools, articles, blog posts, etc - I would learn more about the industry and idea! Sometimes, the final end of the road wasn’t the idea I originally had, but I could piece together some other puzzle pieces from my research and define a different idea, one that was even more innovative.
So, it begs the question: will AI help our world in the long-term, or hurt us? Time will tell, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’ll keep using it, but maybe more selectively in this context.
Can vs Will
To compound this concern, I’ve come to realize something more personal about myself. Almost every one of my ideas comes from a place of: ‘will this idea make money? Is it monetizable?’.
The key word being: “will”
Nine years+ years ago when I was rapidly building new products and ideas in my SEO/IM days, I recall asking the question a little differently… in fact, just one word differently: ‘can this idea make money?’. Can, not will.
It’s extremely subtle, but if you consider the difference in the English language here, you can pick up on that subtly. By asking can, not will, you make it a personal challenge. When asking can, it doesn’t matter if that product exists on the market already - you still can reasonably ask: “Can I build a [competing search engine like google]? Can I make money by building [a better email client than Gmail/Outlook]? Can I build a [successful proxy company]?”.
When I’ve changed that in the past years to will, it kills all sense of curiosity at the very beginning. “Will I [be able to make money building a competing search engine like Google?]”, “Will I be able to make a profit building a competing email client?”, and so on.
When I ask myself the question of whether I will be able to make a profit building a competing search engine - my answer is “gosh, it would be extremely hard to do so, I probably shouldn’t attempt it”.
But when I ask ‘can I build a search engine that competes with Google?’, well, by its very nature, I can. It might suck :). But I can try, and the challenge will be half the fun! I am seeking to understand if I can do it!
‘Curiosity is a waste of time’
In this operating model that I’m in today, I now defeat myself from the get-go by two major competing forces:
- The power of AI and search to answer every question I have about the world
- My own self… focusing on the completion of a product [to make money], rather than the challenge itself (“the journey, not the destination”).
Which leaves me to the core of my pain: I see every moment of time spent on “learning” or “curiosity” as a waste of time. Because, if I will not make money with it, and if there are 10 competitors that exist already, then, logically, it would seem that it’s a waste of time. So I don’t take any action. And I stop living within my core virtues.
To not be ourselves is one of the greatest sins we can do as human beings! It is when we are operating in our place of complete authenticity that we really can shine. For me, I’ve been trying to be someone I am not by finding every reason possible to not be curious or to learn, and today marks a great step in changing that.
Ideas, anyone? :)
I don’t know exactly what my journey ahead looks like, but I do know it will be one with more curiosity and learning. To wander, to explore, to dream of a different world. Maybe something comes of it, maybe not, but if I stay true to my authentic self, I have the confidence that only good can happen.
So, I can only end by asking: does anyone have any ideas? 😉